Selena

eye-candy girl Milan
Write a message

Information

  • Years old:
  • 18
  • My Sign of the zodiac:
  • Aries
  • What is my favourite drink:
  • Cider
  • What is my favourite music:
  • Heavy metal

About

In a surprise to likely no one, stories from people who work at Renaissance Faires sound just as harrowing as the prospect of medieval survival itself. It takes a certain kind of eclectic to work a Renaissance Faire, the kind of confident, yet mysterious individual who catches a bus in homemade chain-mail without any of shame.

Description

Houston's independent source of local news and culture. Jef Rouner December 2, AM. Both of us have been going since we were teenagers, and it's very rare for us to miss the season entirely. However, this year something got on my nerves more so than ever before. My wife almost always wears a pair of satyr horns when she attends. She bought them there, and it's pretty much the only time she ever gets to wear them. What no one tells you when you purchase the horns, though, is that a single joke is going to be hurled at you over and over and over again until finally you either take them off or just stop going.

Related articles

It literally never ends, and every single barker and shopkeeper that throws out the line seems to believe it's the first time it's ever been done. You can't walk past any section of the festival without at least one person using it as a bawdy attention grabber, and it happens year after year after year. It's not exactly catcalling, though that's still a problem with some of the people who work Ren Fest.

My wife and I saw one girl in a skintight green leotard continuously yelled at with a variety of sexual innuendos. I mean, really "clever" bits like "I bet your first name is Daaammmnnn!

‘baa’ means no

I watched that girl laugh at the call, but she also changed from the direction she was walking and headed off in another. Wolf whistles followed her. The "horny lady" thing isn't quite that, but it's still a holdover from some of the attitudes at the festival from back before they cleaned it up a bit. I mean, it's been years since I saw chain-mail bikinis with no underwear on under them, or a public spanking for that matter. Some people sneer and say it's become Disneyfied, but I like to think it's just grown up.

Alabama renaissance festival is canceled after it promised a 'weekend of fun-filled debauchery and sexual play'

The Texas Renaissance Festival is billed as family entertainment. It says so on the website and everything. As far as I'm concerned, it always has been. I started going as part of school field trips.

Related articles

There are children's rides, toys, clothes, and entertainment all around you. Which makes having people yell jokes about how "horny" you might be a kinky uncomfortable when you're pulling a wagon with a five-year-old behind you. When I responded to one such gentleman who did so with an icy festival, he mumbled that perhaps it was my wife's fault for wearing the horns I get that the shouting is a big part of what goes on at Ren Fest, but I think it's high time someone took a closer look at what is being shouted and what it might be saying about the organization.

I was discussing this with some friends online, and an old acquaintance of my wife's recalled how once he'd attended with his then-wife and mine quite a few years back. Both women were renaissance horns when he happened to sneeze.

A nearby employee quipped, "I'd say 'God bless you,' sir, but it's clear the Devil has blessed you twice! That's clever. Is it really necessary for a flower seller to ask me as I'm holding the hand of a kindergartener if I want my wife to be even hornier, then I should buy her a flower?

Related articles

Isn't there maybe another trick in the verbal bag you might want to bust out for that particular scenario, or is the need to make a dirty joke really so overpowering? This isn't a call for censorship or me wringing my hands over blue humor now that I'm a dad. Flirt with all the guests you want.

Keep the Mud Show and Ded Bob full of toilet humor and the haunted castle full of discount tortures. There's a place for that and it is as it should be. You can have a great time with kids at Ren Fest and avoid most of those things if you want to dodge awkward questions on the long car ride home.

Far be it from me to deny any entertainment complex the chance to tell a dick joke, even a pretty tired one. I don't think it's unreasonable to maybe expect it to not be shouted at you across a crowded thoroughfare peopled with tiny babies in knit Viking helmets and grade schoolers in homemade fairy wings.

At least horn sellers could put up a disclaimer next to their selection reading, "May cause inescapable bad jokes regarding your possible promiscuity. Jef has a new story, a tale of mad robot nurses and a man of miracles called "Sleepers, Wake!

You can also connect with him on Facebook. the Houston Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston. Get the latest updates in news, food, music and culture, and receive special offers direct to your inbox. Support Us Houston's independent source of local news and culture.

Just beneath the surface of one of america's family-friendly traditions lies a bubbling sexual subculture

I support. Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of the Houston Press free. Support Us. Keep the Houston Press Free. Since we started the Houston Pressit has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism.

Keep the houston press free.

You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls. Jef Rouner is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior.

He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful. Contact: Jef Rouner. Don't Miss Out. Today. Up. I Support Learn More. Latest Stories. Groover Oct 8, More ». Up Now No Thanks.

Pyyntöäsi ei voi käsitellä

Become a member and go ad-free! Support Our Journalism. Privacy Policy. Do Not Sell My Info. All rights reserved.

New members

Lanni

The festival widely considered the first modern Renaissance Faire, the Renaissance Pleasure Faire, was held in California in
More

Cthrine

Last year, I quit my old job as a stage manager and performer and moved across the country to become the Entertainment Manager of the Georgia Renaissance Festival.
More

Rhody

Houston's independent source of local news and culture.
More

Carlina

By Dailymail.
More